Tuesday, May 31, 2011
For Those Of You Who Know Him
Talmage just asked me how to spell "keef." I regretted to inform him that the word is actually "if." I can only imagine he'll be similarly disappointed when he realizes the truth about the Easter Bunny.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Tyler Asked if I Apologized to Him. Sadly, Tyler Didn't Make an Appearance.
So, this is probably inappropriate for a family-friendly blog like this one, but let me go ahead and say this for those who aren't aware: pregnancy is weird.
Which makes me realize that since I neglect this blog, I haven't announced to the World Wide Web: I'm having a baby. In November, actually. We plan on naming said baby Providence, girl or boy.
I'm having a baby, and one symptom I experience while I'm pregnant is in-color, three-dimensional, fully-developed-plot-line, rounded-character dreams. The kind of dream where you get mad at your son and can't get over the emotion until well into the afternoon after you wake up. The kind of dream where the next day you try and figure out when in your life you went to Africa, because your bank account doesn't have any record of a plane flight to Kenya, but you remember that elephant safari with perfect clarity. The kind of dream (which you never have had any other time of your life) that can only be described as an AHEM "make-out" dream.
This week I had an AHEM "make-out" dream about Brad Pitt. I know what you're going to tell me: "But Laura, you're a woman." It's true. And I'm aware that only men fantasize about celebrities. But people, I'm pregnant. And this time I was there and Brad Pitt was there and my dream-self said, "What the heck." I mean Brad Pitt! I once listened to a heterosexual man laud Brad Pitt's beauty for a full 20 minutes! I wasn't about to complain.
Afterwards, Angelina came in. I was about to leave, but my dream's moral compass went off, and I felt like I needed to apologize. I put a lot of dream thought into the apology and said, "Angelina, can I call you Angelina? No disrespect intended to Brangelina, but your husband offered, and, well, he's Brad Pitt. You understand right? I mean, he's Brad Pitt."
I'm pretty sure Brangelina understood. Because I am ELOQUENT in dreams.
Let me reiterate. Pregnancy is weird.
Which makes me realize that since I neglect this blog, I haven't announced to the World Wide Web: I'm having a baby. In November, actually. We plan on naming said baby Providence, girl or boy.
I'm having a baby, and one symptom I experience while I'm pregnant is in-color, three-dimensional, fully-developed-plot-line, rounded-character dreams. The kind of dream where you get mad at your son and can't get over the emotion until well into the afternoon after you wake up. The kind of dream where the next day you try and figure out when in your life you went to Africa, because your bank account doesn't have any record of a plane flight to Kenya, but you remember that elephant safari with perfect clarity. The kind of dream (which you never have had any other time of your life) that can only be described as an AHEM "make-out" dream.
This week I had an AHEM "make-out" dream about Brad Pitt. I know what you're going to tell me: "But Laura, you're a woman." It's true. And I'm aware that only men fantasize about celebrities. But people, I'm pregnant. And this time I was there and Brad Pitt was there and my dream-self said, "What the heck." I mean Brad Pitt! I once listened to a heterosexual man laud Brad Pitt's beauty for a full 20 minutes! I wasn't about to complain.
Afterwards, Angelina came in. I was about to leave, but my dream's moral compass went off, and I felt like I needed to apologize. I put a lot of dream thought into the apology and said, "Angelina, can I call you Angelina? No disrespect intended to Brangelina, but your husband offered, and, well, he's Brad Pitt. You understand right? I mean, he's Brad Pitt."
I'm pretty sure Brangelina understood. Because I am ELOQUENT in dreams.
Let me reiterate. Pregnancy is weird.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Mother's Day Recap
"Talmage, it's Mother's Day. Do you think you could use nice words when you speak to me?"
"Mom, I'm already getting you two things for Mother's Day. That's enough."
"Mom, I'm already getting you two things for Mother's Day. That's enough."
Monday, May 2, 2011
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