A Phone Conversation Between At Work Me and At Home Tyler

Me: "Hi! How are you?"

Tyler: "I'm great. Hey, out of curiosity, how much does Asher weigh?"

Me: "About 24, 25 pounds."

Tyler: "Huh. Well, how much Tylenol would you give him?"

Me: "I wouldn't give him any unless he was in pain. Was he in pain?"

Tyler: "Uh, he may have fallen off the table outside and hit his head on the concrete."

Me: "He WHAT?"

Tyler: "Don't worry. I'm sure he's fine. I'm pretty sure I didn't give him too much medicine."

Me: "Well, did he seem okay?"

Tyler: "Sure. He fell asleep right after."

Me: "He WHAT?!!"