Yes, I am Keenly Aware that the First Post in Which I Mention My Daughter Includes References to Her Nether Regions

Lucy has taken to storing things in her diaper. I find this makes her uniquely qualified for a future career in shoplifting.

Here is a list of things I have discovered while changing Miss Lucy:

1. Perler beads
2. Pony beads
3. The Apple TV remote
4. My turquoise necklace
5. Anonymous superhero toy from McDonald's (The fact that I have no idea what superhero this was means I don't watch TV enough. Or go to McDonald's enough.)
6. Legos
7. More Legos
8. Even more legos
9. Dishwasher detergent packet

This last one was problematic. Lucy came to me complaining about her diaper. Since Lucy drinks ten cups of milk a day and gets the rest of her calories from dairy, she has frequent digestion issues. We're working on it. But I assumed she was constipated and held my whimpering little girl. When she didn't let up, I changed her diaper to see if the process had been productive, only to find that the detergent tablet she had shoved down her diaper had dissolved next to her skin and there were soap granules deposited all through her nether regions.

There are inescapable consequences when you dedicate your life to shoplifting.