1. My fingers. I have very pretty fingers. Long and lean. I could have been a hand model and made millions.
2. My nailbeds. Totally different than my fingers. When I got a manicure before Homecoming senior year the manicurist told me I'd never need acrylics. And she's right. My nailbeds are beautiful.
3. My salads. I make a killer salad. I'm so obnoxiously proud of this that when someone complimented me about the last salad I made (with yellow peppers instead of red peppers so that combined with the tomatoes the color palette would be aesthetically pleasing and with an array of artfully spread avocados) I said, "Oh this? This isn't even a fancy salad."
4. How big my child is. Talmage is above average. He just dropped from 95th percentile of children to 90th percentile, and I have to say I was a little disappointed. This is a change from when I was panicked that I would have monstrously large children. I was also panicked about having weird looking children because little sister told me my kids were going to be interesting looking because Tyler and I look nothing alike. In your face, Guggy. Talmage is blindingly attractive. And you're going to have children with big heads.
5. How small my feet are. Granted, they're a size 7, but have you ever heard of a woman who's 5'9" with only size 7 feet? I didn't think so.
6. The bibliography at the end of my thesis. It's nine pages long. When I was writing my thesis I used to have a little personal celebration involving Alexander the Grape candies each time I bumped to a new page. It's very pretty.
7. My knowledge of 60s and 70s music. This was my only selling point with guys in high school and college. I was never the cool girl who could play a game of pick-up basketball or throw a football with alarming accuracy. But I knew all about Keith Moon's death from elephant tranquilizers and that all of the Eagles members majored in music in college. And that was COOL. (Didn't get me too far with Tyler since he didn't care about this knowledge in the slightest. Good thing I had more than a working familiarity with Billy Joel.)
8. My ability to pound candy. I can eat a large size bag of Starbursts in one sitting without breaking a sweat.
9. My hair. It's long and thick and fine and, well, maybe that's not irrational. I have GREAT hair.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Please come move next door to me. I want to be your BFF. And you have every right to be vain about each one of those! P.S. I am 5'8" and have size 8 feet. Can I join your small feet club?
ReplyDeleteI adore you. And love that instead of picking yourself apart you embrace good things and move on--we need more of that I think.
ReplyDeleteI thought this was very funny, wife. Kudos!
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing irrational about any of these things. You definitely deserve bragging rights!
ReplyDeleteCheck your email too--I have one more thing I'd like to vent to you about and I think you can guess what that might be.:)
I would be proud of all those things if I were you, too. Oh, why or why-o don't you live closer?
ReplyDeleteStill waiting for my Sunday night phone call...
No wonder I think you are so cool. You are. I want to do a post like this. I don't know what I would write though without being totally sarcastic. ?? I'll think about it.
ReplyDelete