The Sixth Wife

Hmm . . . mediocre at best.

You know you've entered a different genre of literature when the last book you read was printed in 10 point font and the new book is in 16.

I picked up this book because we were leaving town to go to Tyler's graduation in Cedar City and it was the first book that grabbed my attention on the recommended reading rack at the library.

The author includes a response to potential criticism at the end, which I think is a little defensive. She brings up that she didn't plan on writing historical fiction, because to her, historical fiction was filled will "prithee" and heaving bosoms. She therefore updates the language, which I'm not against. But her updating is so silly--at one point one character told another, "Don't bite my head off"--that it's not fun to read. In general, the dialogue seemed stilted and the descriptions pointless. Cathy, the narrator describes her boy: "Harry seems so considered but actually he's everything, all things, an not least hot-headed: it's all in Harry if you only know where to look or wait long enough." What on earth does that mean? As far as heaving bosoms go, there weren't specific bosoms but there was plenty of heaving.

My biggest complaint was about the characters. The author claims "Character is what I go for, both as a reader and a writer. My characters have to be more than the stuffing for some eye-catching dress. They have to feel real: really, really, real." I felt her characters were mere caricatures of the historical people they were. I didn't really sense any depth from them as actual people.

However, I've always had a hard time keeping the generations of Tudors straight and now they're a little more clear.

Talmage A to Z

For those of you who wish a translation:

ah nuts . . . I did something, Arthur, battery, big full (as in "I would like a drink from the big full milk, not the gallon that's half-way gone. And while we're at it, I would like you to pour my cup big full, too"), blow-dryer, Cafe Rio, candy, car, careful, church, Clark, clean up, close to being done (i.e. don't you even think about making me go to bed because I am very close to being done with whatever I'm doing right now), come on, cookie, dangerous, delicious, done, don't do that, downstairs, dresser, drink of milk, eight more (eight is Talmage's favorite number. And who wouldn't want eight more of anything?), elephant, eyeball, fashion show, fireplace, fridge, funny, giant, go away Dad, Grandma Ramona, happy birthday, heat on, hop down, jammies, keys, kiss, last, Laura, little bit, lizard, Lu (our dog), Luke, Mama Kell (referring to Aunt Maquel), Missa, missing, motorcycle, nervous, one more (usually a consolation when he doesn't get eight more), ouch, picture, plane, poke, popsicle (literally, I would like one of the popsicles in the fridge right now), puppy dog, remote control, ribbit, right back, shoot, show, sky, sorry, stay here, Talm's friend, Tawny, teacher, tricky, try it, TV, up in the sky, vroom, warm up, watch out, working hard, yucky

The Edge of Sadness

Yesterday I served at the cannery on a welfare assignment. We were making jam. My job was to mix 5.5 lbs of pectin with 7 lbs of citric acid, later to be mixed with 75 lbs of sugar. I lifted a 20-30 lbs bag of citric acid at one point and felt a strange twitching in my back. But being the fairly athletic almost 28 year old that I am, I felt no compulsion to stop. I later switched jobs and, for the next 2.5 hours, put glass jars onto a rotating wheel that would later be filled with jam, a motion not unlike ironing or loading a dishwasher ("Whatever you do," my mom would later tell me, "DO NOT IRON OR LOAD A DISHWASHER!") By the time I headed home I could barely move, much less pick up Talmage.

So, thanks to Tyler who took off work today, I have been FLAT on my BACK. I know that's a cute colloquial saying, but I promise you, I mean that quite literally. Flat on my back. At 2:00 in the morning, lying flat seems overwhelmingly tedious and you try to roll to one side or the other. Bad decision. Much better to remain flat.

So, in the last 24 hours, I have read The Edge Of Sadness by Edwin O'Connor. It was a beautiful book and the last 24 hours have been filled with both anguish and joy. Even more so than they would have been with a broken back.

I should probably mention that The Edge Of Sadness is precisely the kind of book that I LOVE that has no plot and rich character development. I.e. I won't be recommending this to Tyler any time soon. The book makes Wallace Stegner novels seem action-packed.

Some of my very most favorite narrators, including John Ames in Marilynne Robinson's Gilead and Luke Ripley in Andre Dubus' "A Father's Story" are priests. Actually I'm not sure Luke Ripley is a priest, now that I think about it, but he seems like one. In any case, I'm going to add Hugh Kennedy as a favorite priestly narrator. I think that I trust them more, they seem very wise, and whatever growth or knowledge they gain seems very sincere.

The book chronicled the decay of robust Catholicism during the 1950's. Granted, I know nothing about the decay of robust Catholicism during the 1950's. But in the end, the seeds for renewal were located within the Catholic church. They consisted of a quiet and meditative daily connection to God and an active, loving outreach to individuals. I DO know about times when my commitment to God begins to decay, and I agree with the solution that O'Connor offers.

Charlie Carmody, one of the main antagonists? characters? in the novel is humorously curmudgeony. But not quaintly curmudgeony. He really is quite manipulative and down-right mean at times. But O'Connor points out at one point that while humanity is often carelessly cruel, that same humanity is the first to help when needed. He says, "We all share in a shattering duality [...]. And while all this results in meanness and bitterness and savagery enough [...] the essential goodness of man does break through [...] [It] is in the long succession of these small, redemptive instants, just as much as in the magnificence of heroes, that the meaning and the glory of man is revealed."

I like that thought.

Well, now what do I read next? I know that the reading list says I am "currently reading" Little Women and have been for quite some time, but Little Women is the novel I listen to while running. You do the math.

Shopping List

Talmage has created a shopping list. These are things that we are out of (intentionally) that he would like more of. "At the store." He has taken to reciting it to himself at various times of the day.

juice (This could be orange juice, apple juice, Nana juice (Propel), or Grandpa juice (red gatorade))
hot dogs
Play-doh (This actually means salt. As the recipe we use calls for 1 cup, we are often out of salt.)
mac n' cheese
lucky charms
potty candies (These are candies that he gets when he goes poopy in the potty. As he has a paralyzing fear of going poopy in the potty, I don't buy them anymore)
popsicles
fruit snacks
AND last but not least
milk

We actually have five gallons (yes, FIVE GALLONS for THREE people) of milk in the fridge. But, like Tyler, Talmage consumes insane amounts of milk in the day and is panicked that we might run out at any time.

Fashion Show

Sundry Sunday Thoughts

Today Talmage graduated to the older nursery class. Which means that he had his very first Sunday lesson. His primary teacher proudly pronounced that he could tell me it was Adam and Eve in the racially-neutral picture he colored, but by the time he got to me, it was mommy and daddy. Although, when you get right down to it, I guess Eve is the mother of all living.

It was interesting to realize that from here on out, other people will be teaching my child. Not that this is a bad thing, just interesting. I guess I shouldn't be surprised; I teach other people's children all the time. But it's funny to turn your child over to someone else.

People in my neighborhood are suffering serious trials. I am grateful for the church organization that helps me to be aware of this. I have a tendency to get so involved in my own life that it's just easier to go about my own routine and not think of others. I'm grateful that a natural consequence of meeting with people weekly is knowing about them and their lives and how they need help. I guess I should now step beyond that social circle and push myself to know my other neighbors who I don't meet with weekly so that I can be a help to them as well.

Today I taught a lesson in gospel doctrine about consecration and discipleship. In Mosiah 2 King Benjamin urges listeners to "render to [God] all that you have and are." I taught that the only way to do this was to offer to God our wills, "the only uniquely personal thing" we have as Elder Neal A. Maxwell stated. I think that we do this by putting our spirits in charge of our bodies, or mastering ourselves to do what we know is best when we want to do what feels best. For example, alcohol, moral temptations, overeating, etc. appeal to us carnally while our spirits would like to be free from such addictions. I used the example that none of our bodies would like to sit in church for three hours, but our spirits need the growth. So attending church is a step along to road to self-mastery and complete consecration.

Anyway, this all became very funny as Tyler (yes, Tyler, not Talmage) got increasingly antsy during sacrament meeting (the last hour of our three hour block). He checked his watch at quarter to when the speaker was wrapping up and lamented aloud that it's a shame the bishopric can't just let us out early. And then the bishopric did. Tyler was like a kid on Christmas who receives the red Huffy he's always wanted. All for leaving church 10 minutes early. It was actually a great illustration of my lesson.

I realized today why everyone called me Sister Paulsen as a child. It was because they didn't know my name; they just knew whose daughter I was. I commented on this to Tyler and he said, "Funny, when I was a kid everyone knew me as Tyler." I guess some of us are more "memorable" than others.

Wow, am I becoming a super-blogger or what?

Pomp and Circumstance, 2008

Maybe we should start a log of how many times I include 2008 in the title of my posts.

Yesterday my sister Marissa and her husband Luke graduated from BYU. As both of them are working professionals who have proved that apparently you don't need a college degree to be successful, I find their dedication even that more impressive. They both looked fantastic!



The graduation made me remember how much I like school. I'm thinking about going back. I wouldn't do it until Tyler finishes his administration masters (in roughly three years). This is a big step for me because after I defended my thesis, all I wanted to do was go to the zoo. Don't get me wrong--I still love the zoo, but I think I can work this in. I also know that the only reason this is a possibility is because I married an amazing, supportive, and involved man. I think I can still be a full time mom because Tyler would step in and be a full time dad if I needed him. I love you, Tyler. Well, I've got at least three years to workshop this idea.

Talmage was a trooper. He ran, and ran, and ran, and climbed the stairs of the Marriott Center (all of them), and ran, and ran, and ran. And he was so proud of both Luke and Missa that he wanted to be with the graduates on the ground floor. So Tyler and I played a good game of "Toss Talmage Back Into the Audience" every couple of minutes.

Talmage also met a girl. We got the girl's family's email address so that we can work out a dinner date. He learned the fine art of playing hard to get.





Here are more pictures of the day.

Freakonomics

Fascinating book. A collaboration between an economist and a New York Times columnist, this book seeks to answer questions using economics that aren't traditionally looked at by economists. Or maybe economists do, but not being an economist, I'm not certain.

I'm an art historian. For my thesis I analyzed the changing meaning of Navajo baskets as they are displayed in different environments--the trading post, the natural history museum, and the fine arts museum. But when I'm in the shower, I spend a lot of time analyzing the scientificy microscopicy drawings of hair zoomed in so as to see the Pantene Pro-V actually penetrating the strand of hair. So as to communicate that in some sort of scientificy way this shampoo is MUCH better (75%, actually, is what it says on the front) than any other product. I think Freakonomics is kind of what economists think about when they're not publishing their traditional reports. And how genius that one of them decided to publish those thoughts.

While sometimes I felt that the author quoted debatable statistics to base his arguments on, it was an entertaining read along the way. My personal favorite section was entitled "Why do drug dealers live with their moms?" It detailed the financial workings of a Chicago gang. Fascinating.

One other thing the book brought out that I thought was interesting was the wide tendency to cheat. I just had a brash of plagiarism in one of my courses this semester. I agree with the authors that most people don't really realize that they cheat, or that if they do realize it, they don't really realize what a big deal it is.

Hmmm . . . Those are all my thoughts for now.

Team Moab 2008

This past weekend we went to Moab with Marissa and Luke, my sister and brother-in-law. It was fantastic. And terrible. But mostly fantastic.

We had a great time hiking. Talmage particularly enjoyed hiking on the trail head to Corona Arch where he discovered a train track. Talmage discovers train tracks wherever he goes--the gutter outside our house, the low wall surrounding the elementary school, the small shelf at the library. Imagine his delight when he found an actual train track. Tyler and Talmage walked the track for nearly a mile while Marissa, Luke, and I went to Corona Arch.

Tyler, being the NASA wannabe that he is, realized that Saturday night was a full moon. And, being the professional photographer that he is, he realized that there was nothing that was going to stop him from getting a picture of the full moon through Delicate Arch. He almost forgot about a tired two year old, and the mission was almost detered. However, thanks to a loving wife who toted 30 lbs of camera gear and a backpack that helped him tote 40 lbs of toddler, Tyler and I sprinted up the trail. Talmage fell asleep five minutes from the top. Tyler got into position, certain that the moon was going to rise any minute (it was a good two hours later before the moon rose) on the windy side of the arch. Talmage successfully slept through 60 mile an hour gusts with his head at a 90 degree angle from his body--for 20 minutes.

Yes, that's me sitting behind him on the back bar of the backpack so that he doesn't blow off the cliff side. Talmage woke up rather unhappy, so he and I abandoned the picture project, picked up Marissa and Luke who had vetoed the photo op to hike Devil's Garden (really, where's the dedication to science or photography?) and waited for Tyler for another hour. But it was all worth it in the end.

It would have been a perfect trip had we not returned to camp that evening at 10:00 to find that our tent had been stolen. Or it blew away. Much thanks to Marissa and Luke who took one for the team and slept in the car (Marissa) and under the stars (Luke) so Talmage had a tent to sleep in.

Here are some more pictures from the trip.

Nineteen Minutes

Well, I did such a good job reading rationally with The Three Musketeers. This time, however, I had to read obsessively because I just wanted to get the book over with. Not that it wasn't a compelling or interesting book; I was just a little too emotional about it. Tyler brought it home after a recommendation from a fellow teacher saying it was about a school shooting, and I immediately rejected it because I know I'm too sensitive. However, we went camping this weekend, and I woke up an hour earlier than everyone else. Nothing to do but read the book.

It was an entertaining book; a bit of a thriller (it sometimes reminded me of my Jr. High Mary Higgins Clark obsession) but it raised interesting moral question at the same time. What's the role of popularity and appearances? What's the role of judgment in society and who has the right to judge?

I'm a little worried that I don't have what it takes to be a mom. I've become most torn up by the tendency of society to create outcasts. I've always been a sucker for the lost puppy or for the case that just needs someone to love them. Cipher in the Snow is still one of the most traumatic movies I've ever seen and I won't ever watch Dumbo. I worry about Talmage. What will happen if he isn't liked? What if he is rejected by his friends? Maybe worse, what if he rejects his friends? It's enough to make a mom want to home-school, except I really believe public school is a necessary but painful experience to help someone learn how to function successfully in society.

Talmage is big into making friends lately. Last week we went to the park, and he wanted to play with a group of five-year-old boys whom he immediately identified as "Talm's friends." He spent an hour chasing them around the park, yelling, "Talm's friends, WAIT!" I couldn't really fault the older boys who had no interest in a two year old. But my heart broke for two-year-old Talmage and worried about twelve-year-old Talmage. I really needed a hug.

The Three Musketeers

So, I've decided to post my thoughts on a book once I've finished it. I'd like to point out that I read this book a little more healthily than I typically read. Granted, this is a rather long book so I couldn't do my typical two or three days reading obsessively. Also, because I've been pretty busy teaching (with Tyler gone to classes at nights) I was forced to read just a little bit at a time. I really enjoyed it. I should try this healthy reading thing more often.

Now that I've finished the book (15 minutes ago), I'm left with one main thought.

Milady is an evil, evil woman.

She's evil incarnate. At one point, the Comte de Rochefort asks her to "Commend me to [your master] Satan." And because she's so thoroughly and unbelievable evil, she's really delightfully evil.

The same is true of all the characters in the book; all of them are character types, which in this adventure make them more comedic and more entertaining. D’Artagnan is enterprising and ambitious with a weakness for women, Porthos is kind of a fop with a weakness for women, Aramis is pious with a weakness for women, and Athos, I don’t know, bitter and noble with a hatred for women. But I don't think they're cheap because of that; they reveal human truth and passion by being the embodiment of one characteristic, being a true characteristic followed completely to form. That said, the only characteristics symbolized by women in the novel are naivety, weakness in love, and, as noted above, evil.

I also loved the comedy in the book. The dialogue between D'Artagnan and Athos, Porthos, and Aramis is particularly funny. And the fact that these deathly adventures and intrigues are basically the result of two characters trying to pass notes to each other (jr. high style) is pretty funny.

In the end, I thank Barbara for loving and recommending this book. And for also finding Milady an evil, evil woman.

Chicken Dance

Everyone could use a little mid-week chicken dance!

Project: What Can Talmage Fit Into?

What I Found Cleaning Under My Bed

YW Leader Announcements, 12-23-07
Wallace Stegner, Mormon Country
2 white folders (1/2", 3-ring)
document "How to Use BYU Multi-Media Cabinets"
Cigi Petrell's final exam, Fall 07
7 copies Art Hc 202 Winter 2008 syllabus
2 copies Eng 150 Winter 2008 syllabus
Talmage's tennis shoes (complete pair!)
1 diaper (unused) Kirkland brand, size 5
Travis Van Hoff's "Role of Language and Persuasion in My Life"
5 sheet protectors
1 bottle Johnson and Johnson Baby Lotion
1 yellow lego
1 1" green plastic triceratops
1 band-aid (unused)
1 unopened pkg Oral-B floss action brush heads (7)
1 single Oral-B floss action brush head (used)
1 Talmage-sized sock
1 marble
1 pen lid
1 cresent screwdriver
2 black elastics (extra strong hold for extra thick hair)
YW Manual 2 Sunday Lesson Schedule '07 (October-December)
1 box Sun-Maid Natural California Raisins
The Illustrated Timeline of the Universe
A. Tyler Howe's Quad (Yes, the one from his mission that Tyler mistakely left in my backpack when I fell in the river hiking the Narrows and tore my meniscus and almost got divorced over. It's still functional.)
Joseph Smith, History of the Church (vol. 1)
1 mint green pillow--floral brocade
Associated Mortgage Co.'s gift pen
1 receipt from Bookdock's Fun Center 12/19/07 (4 hot dogs, 1 pretzel)

Gargling

We're not sure how he breathes while doing this--but it's sure cute!

Talmage's Daddy

I'm largely posting this blog entry because I think Tyler took a really cool picture of Talmage. In that vein, however, I just want to write down how glad I am that I married Tyler and what an amazing father he is. Today at lunch when Talmage asked "Daddy go?" (meaning where did Daddy go) and I responded "Work" Talmage said decisively "Daddy no work." I love that Talmage wants his Daddy around all the time. I love that when Daddy is around that he would rather play with Talmage than do about anything else. I am grateful for Talmage's Daddy.

Mommy or Daddy

Talmage has confided in me privately that I'm really the favorite

-Tyler

Bee-Why-Yoo

Talmage and I took a trip to Provoland today. He had dinosaurs on the brain. And he wanted to see them. Today. So I took him to the Bean Museum where I tried to pass off various large stuffed animals as dinosaurs. "Look, Talmage. Dinosaur." "No, Mom. Reindeer." "Look, Talmage. Dinosaur." "No. Cheetah."

He did enjoy the museum, but when we walked out, he said, "Dinosaurs?" I was at a bit of a loss. I wanted to visit some friends at the Museum of Art and see a couple of exhibitions I hadn't seen yet, so we went to the MOA. When we walked in we saw Brower Hatcher's The Seer (pictured above), the great big sculpture in the Lied Gallery--the lobby of the MOA. Talmage said, "Mom! Mom! Dinosaur!" He had noticed the great big dinosaur skull in the middle of the piece. Whew! I was off the hook. And Talmage appreciated his first work of art (goes along with him trying his first sushi last night: "Like this!").

All in all, it was a fun trip to to Provo. And when we got in the car to leave, he said "Like why-yoo." Much to the chagrin of his raving, red, Utah-fan father and uncle. And paternal grandpa.

Who Thought Laura Didn't Know Anything About Sports?

In the spirit of the madness of the season, I am trouncing my family members in March Madness picks:

1 Laura 98 44 138 47 UNC (120), UCLA ,Kansas , Memphis
2 Gail 93 43 133 46 Kansas (130), Memphis ,UNC , Duke
3 Clark 88 40 128 43 UCLA (146), UNC ,G'town , Memphis
4 Lori 83 38 111 40 UCLA (1), G'town ,UNC , Memphis
5 Tyler 74 34 114 37 Memphis (171), UNC ,Wisconsin , Xavier
6 Darris 72 38 112 41 UCLA (136), Kansas ,Tennessee , Mich. St.
6 Jason 72 34 112 37 UNC (135), UCLA ,G'town , Stanford
8 Maquel 60 35 60 35 Texas (133), G'town ,UNC , UConn

I'm 658 in the entire USA Today poll, too.

So, if I'm being completely honest, I decided to see what happened if I voted straight seed (not seat, like I recently thought). I'm pretty lucky that all #1 seed teams made it to the Final Four this year. And, when forced to make a decision about who would win, I picked UNC, because I've always thought North Carolina would be a nice place to visit. So there.

Talmage's Bedtime a la Mary Cassatt

Well, after my last posting, I decided to do something a little bit lighter.

Before going to bed Talmage and I read three books. Talmage invariably wants more books. Once we've read two, I'll say definitively "Last book." To which Talmage will respond, "Eight more?" "Nope, last book. Say last book." He'll concede a bit reluctantly, "Last book." After books are done, Talmage will ask for a song. This is always the "ABCs one." After we might move into a bit of the Beatles classic "Obladi, Oblada, Life Goes On." He then goes into his crib. He needs his cars. All of them. All 77 of them. He then needs a band-aid. Why a band-aid? I'm not really sure, but I do know that it is essential. Then kisses, good night, then I walk out as he screams "OUT!"

I remember after babysitting our neighbor's kids in Provo (before we had kids, of course), Tyler made me promise our future kids would just be sent straight to bed--no frills. Well, so much for that.

Today Talmage and I were reading a book called A Child's Book of Lullabies which is, exactly that, a collection of lullabies. Classics like "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," "Rock-a-bye Baby," "Lullaby and Good Night," and, of course, "Cum By Yah." The lullabies are accompanied by Mary Cassatt images of mothers and children. Today while we were singing "Hush, Little Baby," Talmage studied the above picture. He noticed that there was a little boy sitting on his mama's lap that was same-sames as him sitting on his mama's lap. The boy had his head on mama's shoulder same-sames as him with his head on mama's shoulder. Only his hand was not same-sames. So Talmage very gently took his right hand and slipped it up underneath my chin. Same-sames! And pretty-heartwarming. "Thanks, Mama," he said. Thank you, Talmage.